To the Tinéf
For myself and in sharing for anyone who was
A specific recognition placed here to project as a
metaphor for all other times I wish to have said and
in the recognition of the need to be said.
After 36 years of true devotion, within my life’s
ever belief of loving one woman forever, her
betrayal of me was colossal. Engulfed by constant
fatigues and moods of our earliest days begun
manifesting her depressant genes, and surfacing
childhood abuse residue, effects which developed
toward regular mental epilepsy and episodes of true
I stood by her all the way while creating our lives
on my own, as few hours of whatever activity left
her drained of all energy for days. Most of her evil
bursts came as uncontrollable need directed toward
me while I lived my inborn loyalty makeup, living
daily my vow of for better or for worse. Actively
shielding the world form knowing her sickly life
misery, mine by default, as such was her innermost
Past decades soaked harm and negativity in
Machiavellian five year effort behind my back, most
skillfully she wiped out my life of three and one
half decades. By lies, by concealed, immoral if
legal maneuvers, manipulating me by enlisting my
trust to act unknowingly against my own good.
At a point, vehicled by divorce proceedings, she
destroyed all that I loved, all that I created, all
that I owned, most of , my friendships and
relations, collections that I formed, all of my life
as I knew it to be, I lost it all. As one of her
then closest, in a moment of unguarded conscious
voiced it to me by phone; “Watch out how you cross
the street from now on, as she aims to destroy you
and will never stop.”
Then in my way of detaching from such vast evil and
harm, I renamed her, “the Tinéf.”
(Yiddish for spiritually unclean.) By way of facing
it all and accurately redefine her being. And here I
am, to permanently relate unequivocally to the Tinéf
my deepest gratitude for doing what she did.
Had she not done so I would have never come to North
Carolina, never have found my mountain top. I would
have not met my Odem Love, the love of my life and
with her known closeness, kindness, caring,
serenity, the sharing and contributing for and with
others, peace of mind and energized creativity the
likes which I have never known.
This acknowledgment is no less a metaphor to other
times I wish to have said so.
It is the sharing of my posted wish with any and all
who might benefit by such.
It is a genuine, true act and of no other agenda,
just as this posting is done in deep belief.
I am most grateful and here ever after giving
thanks to the one who demolished my life as I
knew it to be, the one I call the Tinéf.